Jennifer was your typical girl. She enjoyed her girlfriends, was a good student and played on her school volleyball team. Yet, she frequently felt sad and expressed that she didn’t fit in. Her parents were divorced and had lingering conflicts. No matter what the personal successes that Jennifer achieved, she always felt inferior and oftentimes reported that she was bullied. Changes in schools, sports team, and friends never seemed to resolve the issues.
Certainly she had several issues going on in her life but more significantly was her lack of self-worth and how she perceived herself as compared to others. She tried to control all of the factors outside of herself but invariably she would end up perceiving another problem in her life. Once Jennifer entered into therapy, she discovered the reality that she could not control the world but needed to focus on herself in order to manage her reactions, perceptions and self-image.
Today we find that challenges for all members of society. Empowering young girls and providing the foundation for early success invariably provides the foundation for future achievement, emotional stability, dynamic interpersonal relationships, financial comfort and a strong sense of self.
There are numerous factors that adversely impact the development of girls in society.
1. Genetics may predispose a young girl to medical, cognitive and psychological struggles. Family history is vital to know about or assess to determine the historical links. However, just because one has a positive family history of some medical or psychological condition, this is not a fate a complete.
2. Environment has the potential to adversely impact the development of any girl. Dangerous communities may put a child at risk for exposure to toxins, criminal behavior, limited access to healthcare or a sub-standard educational system. Again, just because one has a community that possesses at-risk factors does not mean that your daughter fails.
3. Families may not necessarily provide the healthiest or nurturing home. Some parents struggle with their own issues. These parents might teach their child unhealthy ways of coping with stress, unproductive methods of problem-solving or even present that a chaos is normal. Though the norm might have been dysfunction, your daughter can develop a new norm.
4. Peers can encourage choices which may lead your daughter down a path for which numerous consequences can forever impede her development towards achieving her dreams and goals. Yet, just because other girls might make bad decisions does not guarantee that your daughter will opt to accept unhealthy directions of her peers.
In this article, I want to provide some foundational steps to help your daughter to become confident and successful woman. Additionally, I want to provide an illustrative list of resources for you to select from in order to help your little angel grow into the woman of her dreams.
Key components in all prevention programs that help foster the development of protective factors include;
Self-esteem
Goal-setting
Feelings identification
Communication skills
Problem-solving and Conflict resolution
Boundary setting
Leadership and Character development
Peer refusal skills
Assertiveness
Emotion management
We need to become advocates for one and other. We need to give a voice to those who could use the assistance. We have laws to protect. Yet, there are many girls and women from around the world that do not have the same protection that our country provides. Empowerment begins in our backyards but reaches to the fullest extent of our planet.
Books:
1. Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls (Ballantine Reader’s Circle)
2. Your Mind: An Owner’s Manual for a Better Life (Career Press)
3. Chester’s Way. 1988. Henkes, Kevin (Greenwillow)
4. Lost Star: The Story of Amelia Earhart. 1988, Lauber, Patricia (Scholastic)
5. Eleanor Roosevelt: A Life of Discovery. 1993, Freedman, Russell (Clarion)
6. Girl Power by Robin Powell (Authorhouse, 2007)
7. Girls in Power: Gender, Body, & Menstruation in Adolescence (State University of New York Press, 2009)
8. Growing Up: It’s a Girl Thing by Mavis Jukes
9. The Care and Keeping of You (American Girl Library) by Valorie Schaefer
10. A Smart Girl’s Guide to Friendship Troubles 2003 by Patti Kelley Criswell
11. Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl World by Rosalind Wiseman (Three Rivers Press, 2009)
12. Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know by Meg Meeker (Ballantine, 2007)
13. Bringing Up Girls: Practical Advice and Encouragement for Those Shaping the Next Generation of Women by James C. Dobson (Tyndale House Publishers, 2010)
14. 52 Things Kids Need from a Dad: What Fathers Can Do to Make a Lifelong Difference by Jay Payleitner (Harvest House Publishers, 2010)
15. The Inside Story on Teen Girls: Experts Answer Parents’ Questions by Karen Zager and Alice Rubenstein (American Psychological Association, 2002)
16. Yes, Your Teen is Crazy!: Loving Your Kid Without Losing Your Mind by Michael J. Bradley (Harbor press, 2002)
17. Getting to Calm: Cool-Headed Strategies for Parenting Tweens + Teens by Laura S Kastner Ph.D. and Jennifer Wyatt, Ph.D. (Parent Map, 2009)
18. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens: The Ultimate Teenage Success Guide by Sean Covey (Simon & Schuster, 1999)
19. How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish (Harper Collins, 2006)
20. Chocolate For A Teen’s Soul: Life-changing Stories For Young Women About Growing Wise And Growing Strong by Kay Allenbaugh (A Fireside Book, 2000)
Organizations that provide exceptional programming, education and resources to help your daughters become the capable leader for the future:
1. Girl Scouts of America (GSA) is the world’s preeminent organization dedicated solely to girls—all girls—where, in an accepting and nurturing environment, girls build character and skills for success in the real world. www.girlscouts.org
2. Girls For A Change (GFC) is a national organization that empowers girls at www.girlsforachange.org
3. National Coalition of Girls’ Schools The National Coalition of Girls’ Schools (NCGS) is the leading advocate for girls’ education at www.ncgs.org
4. Girlstart is a non-profit organization created to empower girls to excel in math, science, and technology at www.girlstart.org
5. Girls Bulling and Violence (prevention and intervention programs and activities) can help to promote the health and well-being of girls and young women within schools and communities across the country at http://www.promoteprevent.org/publications/prevention-briefs/girls-bullying-and-violence
6. Girls for Change (GFC) is a national organization that empowers girls to create social change at http://www.girlsforachange.org/
7. Girl Power! is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit prevention and intervention social change program that promotes positive behavior, enhances social skills and improves academic performance in at-risk girls ages 11 – 17 at http://www.girlpowerrocks.org/
8. L’Oréal, the familiar brand has taken their huge reach and is using it to help support girls and women in the area of science at http://www.lorealusa.com/forwomeninscience
9. Girl Talk, this org is girls empowering girls makes it unique and inspiring all in itself. From their website, Founded in 2002, Girl Talk is a student-to-student mentoring program that pairs middle school girls with high school girls who serve as mentors at http://www.desiretoinspire.org/
10. Women LEAD is a leadership development organization that provides young female high school students in Kathmandu, Nepal, with the personal and professional skills to pursue their vision for change. It trains 16- to 18- year-old girls who come from diverse socio-economic, ethnic and religious backgrounds, but who are united in their passion to create change in Nepal at www.women-lead.org/
11. The United Nations Girls’ Education Initiative (UNGEI) was launched in 2000 by the UN Secretary-General to assist national governments as they fulfill their responsibilities towards ensuring the right to education and gender equality for all children, girls and boys alike at www.ungei.org/
12. The Black Girl Project provides tools, guidance and support for girls to prepare themselves physically, socially, emotionally and culturally for the responsibilities of young adulthood at www.blackgirlproject.com/
13. Passion Foundation’s mission is to help young women achieve personal success in life by supporting each other. By providing opportunities for self-exploration and positive role modeling it aims to decrease self-harm and help young women to connect with their life purpose while being part of a community of success oriented peers; building on leadership and mentorship skills at www.amazingwomenrock.com/passion-foundation
14. PrimaDonna, Incorporated is a 501 (c) (3) non-profit youth organization that strives to promote hope, love, and self-sufficiency in the minds of young girls everywhere. Its mission is to promote abstinence and prevent teen pregnancy through the inclusion of the education and the arts, in addition to physical fitness and mental health awareness. PrimaDonna wants to put an end to teen pregnancy and childhood obesity in its community by equipping girls with the necessary tools and outlets needed to be successful in life at www.primadonnainc.org/
15. This blog has the goal to help both parents and children learn to deal with these messages by recognizing, planning, talking, acting and cooperating. This site is dedicated to exploring the sexualized media messages that are sent to children. I believe that we have the power to choose our response to the media, rather than just mindlessly adopting their values at http://jennifershewmaker.com/
16. The Women’s Half Marathon group is devoted to strengthening individuals, fostering commitment, unifying females, setting goals, developing friendships, engendering health, and giving purpose as a few reasons why girls and women participate in half marathons at www.womenshalfmarathon.com/
Confident girls have the capabilities to become strong women. Each person is both the best and the worst of what they have been exposed to in their lives. Yet, you are not merely the simply by-product of your genetics, environment, family or friends. You can choose to take a different path. A path that leads you to your dreams and goals. Each person needs to work on developing specific protective factors that include; self-esteem, assertiveness, conflict resolution, goal-setting and many others that were listed above. The books can offer excellent lessons to help your development and change the course of your life. The prevention programs listed can provide the safe opportunities to practice developing the skills that will enable you to achieve your dreams by becoming a confident girl and eventually becoming a strong women.
Dr. Harold Shinitzky, Psy.D.
Licensed Psychologist
www.drshinitzky.com
Author – A Champion’s Mindset: 15 Mental Conditioning Steps to Becoming a Champion Athlete (Amazon)
Author – Your Mind: An Owner’s Manual for a Better Life (Career Press)
Author – Take Control of Your Anxiety: A Drug-Free Approach to Living a Happy, Healthy Life (Career Press)